Man, every year it seems like people get touchier and touchier about whether you say “Happy Holidays” or “Merry Christmas.” What should be an innocent expression of happiness has devolved into verbal ammunition in an increasingly annoying culture war. I can’t wish someone well without worrying that I’m either: A) offending Christians, or B) offending everyone else. And of course, I just offended liberal Christians who prefer “happy holidays” …

Screw that. I’m officially renouncing the debate. I’d like to wish you all a “Wonderful Happy Fun Time” (trademark-pending), regardless of whichever religion you do (or do not) believe in. May the new year bring good health, success, peace, and joy to you all!

And farewell, 2006. You were a lovely year.