In keeping with Memorial Day tradition, my wife has made plans for us to spend the weekend together in northeast Vermont, where black fly season is in full swing. Apparently we’ll be paying homage to America’s fallen soldiers by subjecting ourselves to the natural equivalent of machine gun fire. Or being tortured by blood-crazed enemy agents. Or being shot with machine guns while being tortured by enemy agents.

My favorite quotes:

• Unlike a mosquito (which sucks up blood through a proboscis), black flies slash the skin and lap up the pooled blood.
• The experience of being continually bitten, unable to step outside from countless bites, is a demoralizer with few equals.

Mmmm… slashed skin. I can’t wait! See you all Tuesday.